in a dramatic moment, i’ll blink. in reality, that’s perfectly normal and even sane. in make believe, there are rules around how you contort your face. people think acting is simple, and it is, which makes it the hardest thing to do. if you only pucker your lips, but cannot perfect the stare, then you begin to wonder if you are even an actor at all. my best acting always happened in real life, when i could see myself saying the words i practiced in the mirror “i love you so much, it hurts” and feel a single tear roll down my cheek. it did make me wonder if i wasn’t real, because the audience ate it up. too much blinking can make you a liar, as the eyes are not trustworthy when they are dry. one must balance the ability to display trust and the ability to manipulate it. the camera tells all and adds 15 pounds. when your eyes gain weight, it makes it harder to not blink, but you must avoid it at all costs. once someone doesn’t trust you, it affects the entire project. people start acting differently around you, demanding you to burst out into affection at random moments, with questions like “what do you love about me?”

i hate just giving people what they want, which is why i became an actor to begin with. i want to give us both what we want–you, a distraction, and me, a place to feel wanted.